Monday, October 19, 2009

Last Saturday Morning of This

Five a.m. Two pieces of whole wheat toast. One buttered. One crunchy peanut buttered (and covered in banana slices if the girls haven't eaten all of them for the week). A tall glass of water. A Psalm of encouragement. And a prayer of survival. That's how I've started (almost) every Saturday morning for the last three or so months. And I just did it for the last time. My marathon is THIS COMING SUNDAY in Falmouth, MA (part of Cape Cod).

Do I feel prepared? No. Do I feel confident that I will finish? Nuh-uh. Am I ready for the insanity to end? YES!!! "They" say, that you need to work up to running 20 miles in order to finish a marathon (26.2 miles). I have run two 20s and a nineteen, so technically I am supposed to be ready. However, I know how I feel after 20 miles, and the thought of running 6 more...a whole nother hour...seems like a...major stretch. I always imagined that when the training was over, I would, perhaps, realize the difficulty that was ahead of me, but it would be tempered with a confidence that I could overcome it... ... ...I don't feel like that. When I voiced these feelings to some of my running group Saturday morning (who have all run between 13 and 30 marathons, ok?!), I could hear the crickets chirping. What were they supposed to say? "No, Abby, you can do it. We KNOW you can!" (which is what I wanted to hear) Then, if I really don't finish, they feel bad facing me afterwards. Or, "You know, not everybody finishes, and that's ok too!" (which made me want to shoot myself) Then, if I do fail, at least I know they think it's alright the next time we face each other. They managed to eek out some combination of both of these things :) Sorry guys, not a good question.

Part of the reason for all this uncertainty, and part of the reason I haven't been talking about the running (that has been consuming my life), is because I am hurt. Not technically "injured," my orthopaedist husband tells me, but hurting all the same. Monday and Tuesday two weeks ago, I would have gladly severed my hamstrings if I could have gotten some scissors to them. I've had to take off some time running and I can't attest to the physical repercussions of taking time off (yet), but I can tell you the mental repercussions are not fun. I feel behind. And it makes me question if I can really do this thing. Fortunately, I know a very good orthopaedic surgeon:Who came into the study yesterday and announced, "Mommy, I need to do some surgery on your hamstring...And this is preeeetty serious."When I saw her surgical instruments included Cinderella's slipper and some swimming goggles...I got a little worried. When she apparently though my hamstrings were joined to my big toe, I knew I probably should have gotten a second opinion.The surgery went pretty well overall, despite my loud, dramatic screaming effects :) The prognosis is still hazy, but one thing's for sure, if I am screaming in pain, I will always be able to count on Dapples for a heart burdened with sympathy:Would you like to know the three primary (physical) things (Besides God. I do know that is the real answer here) that are sustaining me on this nerve-racking week building up to the run? 1) The fact that my past four runs have involved some pain, but on the whole have been really good. 2) All those amazingly sweet notes you see scattered in the picture below, from dear friends who encourage and support me AND 3) That cute little running ensemble that Mrs. Linda (Jeremiah's Mom) just sent me (via Ashley, who picked it out). This may sound crazy, but now that I know what I'm wearing in the race, it's a lot easier to envision myself crossing the finish line (like everybody keeps telling me to do). You KNOW you're a serious runner when...the outfit is the deal clincher :)

17 comments:

Konie said...

ABBY.....YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!! You've worked HARD in really a short amount of time, and you've been pretty amazing to me! The rest you've taken because of your hurts and pains, should only make those last 6 miles easier!!!!!! YOU CAN DO IT....YOU CAN DO IT....YOU WILL DO IT!!!! : ) : ) : ) I'm excited for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Susannah said...

I'm with Mrs. Konie, YOU CAN DO THIS!! You CAN!! I'm loving the little ensemble that Jeremiah's mom got you too! You have to be cute when crossing the finish line! ;) Good luck! Can't wait to see pictures!!

Mandy said...

Good luck, Abby! I know you can do it!

Becky said...

You are soooo brave! You CAN and WILL do this! I have to believe that so much of it must be mental (don't even ask me about the physical. that would be wrong!! i don't even want to DRIVE 26.2 miles!!) your little readers are so proud of you and the example you are to us and your girls!!

Lauren said...

YAY ABBY!! I dont even officially know you and wish I could be there. I would ring cowbells have poster boards and yell really loud to cheer you on! You will do awesome. On my long runs, I just tell myself one foot in front of the other and to keep moving and before ya know it, the finish line is right there!! Praying for you and cant wait to hear how you do! Oh yeah, I love the pictures of your little doctor! Will she be there in case you need some attention as you cross the finish line??

Kelly said...

Good luck, Abby! I'll be praying for you. Wish I had your discipline to run a marathon....I can't even make it to the 5K mark that I keep trying for! : )

Kellie said...

Oh, the outfit is DEFINITELY the clincher - whether it's working out or playing tennis or RUNNING a MARATHON - WOW (and it's super-cute!)!!!!! You can do it - I'm so proud of you - maybe you'll inspire me to do it ONE day! I can't wait to hear all about it - no matter if you walk it, run it, or crawl it! YOU.CAN.DO.IT!!! God Speed!

Blueprint Bliss said...

Abby- you'll do great. And I agree- the outfit is all part of it. Praying for you...

aedozier said...

Abby, your mom will make sure you cross that finish line. Remember...I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me. Claim that verse when you feel like you can't do it! I can't wait to see a picture of you crossing that line. BTW...the outfit is great!

Farris said...

You WILL do it and I can't wait to read the blog after you FINISH to hear how proud you are! Rest up this week and have a safe trip!

Lindsey said...

wow! i have no doubt you will finish and finish strong. can't wait to hear about it!

jj said...

Abby, You are amazing! I wonder how the marathon will compare to birthing a baby (or at least a baby without the epidural). You will make it and I can't wait to hear about it!!

Gail said...

Ahhhh....You will LOOK great...Wear it with pride and knowing the crew back in the South are ALL pulling for you! Watch that voice...For out of the heart flows the issues of life...Say...NOW...I AM GOING TO DO THIS! Never different any different or allow the heart to fear! Fight and win...You go girl! And, I LOVED the DR. PIC's! Tooo cute for words! Enjoy the entire ride!!!

Carly Winborne said...

man, i would need more than a hot little outfit to run a marathon, so i admire you with some serious respect! (and i've never even met you!!)

all joking aside, i found this verse while straightening up my desk this morning. and now after reading this post, it certainly applies to your situation!

1 John 4:4
"Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world." Satan will grab your hamstrings, kick your shins and tie your lungs in a knot, but Jesus lives in you and will see you to that finish line. What a metaphor for life! You'll do great! I know you will.

melissa richie said...

you better believe when i ran my little half marathon, i picked out my outfit long before i ran the race :) it's very important, and i am glad mrs. maddox took care of that for you. one less thing to think about!

i love you friend, and i am so proud of you. i hope you can enjoy cape cod a bit, too, before and after your run and that the whole weekend (while exhausting) will be exhilarating and wonderful!!

whoo hooo!!!!!!!!

Hicks Family said...

Abby, I'll be praying for you and I know that you'll make it to the finish line! You're strong, You're brave and You know God will carry you all the way! Good Luck and I can't hear how you do!

Jenny said...

Abby:
I just completed my first marathon in Chicago and I can tell you, you will be fine. The furthest that I ran was 19 miles and did 3-4 runs during the week. I may not have come in with the time I was hoping for, but I crossed that finish line. And by the way, those last 6 miles - while painful - are an easy countdown. You just think about how many times you have run 6 miles - it is all a mental game at that point. Good luck - you will be fantastic!!!
(Also, I bought a pink hat at the expo that sealed the deal. I felt much better and cuter!!)