Saturday, February 9, 2008

The Chasm

After you say goodbye to someone who you love as much as your own life, you begin to categorize the memories that come. The memories of their smile, their love, their everyday person, are something like a gentle rolling into a valley of your life. You dip in for a moment, you feel the dull ache, but then you glide back out--looking over your shoulder for a moment to smile wanly at what you miss. However, the memories of what they said at a particular moment, or how excited they were when they gave you a certain gift, or the warmth of their arms around you at a specific moment of sadness--these specific memories that make it seem as though they were by your side only a moment ago--are the ones that feel like a gaping chasm opening up in your life. It rips open before you, re-shaping the foundation of all you've assumed was normal, and you plunge in deep. As you hurtle through the air you find yourself grasping desperately around you, wanting to cling, as if for life, to the ones who've been left behind.

*This is ABryanPhoto

13 comments:

Katie B said...

I love your writing Abby. And everytime I read one of your posts, I can hear your mom in that voice she had saying "Oooohhh Aaabbbyyy its beautiful." I can hear it right now.

Katie b

Anonymous said...

hey abby,
quite an accurate expression of "it", one of those things that is hard to explain and you hit the nail on the head! Awesome photo by the way! Love you sister- Taylorc

Robin said...

Abby,
You warm my heart and make my tears start every time I read your words. You are blessing so many people with your thoughts. I know first hand how proud your mom was of you. Hope to read more soon. Mrs. Robin

Anonymous said...

WOW-you say what so many of us are thinking! Your new pictures are so cool. Abby, you are an incredible combination of your Mom and Dad. By the way, this is random, but I will never forget your mom calling me to tell me that Mary Aplin was going to "be a girl". I was on a golf course at a tournament with David. She was so excited. Bebe will live on in those beautiful little ones. Keep writing, it is blessing so many. Love you,Kathy G.

Anonymous said...

Hi Abby,
Kendall Boggs shared your blog site with me and I've enjoyed taking an afternoon break and reading some of your writings. Your family has been in my thoughts and prayers and will always be. Your sisters are sorority sisters of my girls at Auburn. Mitzi Chambers kept me updated on your mom, and Mitzi kept your mom updated on my husband. And, Lynn and Kendall and I go WAYYYYYYYYYYY back....(but not as far back as your mom and Kendall:) Thank the good Lord for the strength he gives us each day, but the void of losing our special one, will always be there. We can fill it with happy and funny memories, but the "missing them" part stays with us. Both our families are so blessed to have had the most loving dad and mom in our lives. Bill loved, blessed, and taught my kids more than most kids get in a lifetime with their dad. Your mom did the same for you and your sisters. Wow....how fortunate our families have been.....and still are. Keep blessing your little babies and Jeremiah, and as me and the others read your blogs, you will also be blessing us:)

Konie Bryant p.s. sorry so long:(

Anonymous said...

Abby,
That was just amazing. I mean I am just constantly in awe of your ability to put your heart on paper. What a beautiful thing it is to read. That picture is darling!
Love you girly!
Kendall

sara beth said...

Great Post Abby.
Also, I like M'apples outfit. Do we think that comes in my size?

Tonja said...

God bless you, my dear. You are in my prayers often.

JD and Danielle said...

I love the picture! I hope you guys are doing well.

stewdog said...

Beautiful. I´m not sure if I´m reading a great writer of the Victorian age, or my silly friend who plays the role of the Valentine´s Day Ghost.

Have a Happy Valentine´s Day. You deserve it!

Butterfly 211 said...

Abby,
You probablly don't know me but I knew your mom and dad. I went to church with them and was in their Sunday School class when my husband and I were first married. I think you are so prescious and your writings have blessed me so much I pray for your dad and your family nightly I know you must have a great void but God will fill it and I do believe that he is speaking to you through Pace at times. Also Jeremiah's parents sang at my wedding. I have enjoyed reading your blog and have it saved in my favorites. My name is Dru Watkins my maiden name was Hannah and I live really close to you in Huntsville. My blog is butterfly211.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Abby,
I think Holden Caulfield expresses what I am feeling perfectly at this moment (in "The Catcher in the Rye"- chapter 3) He says, "What really knocks me out is a book, when you're all done reading it, you wished the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it."
Thank you for telling me where to read your eloquent, entertaining, genuine and moving anecdotes and insights.
All I can say after reading your entries is:
"My Cup Runneth Over"
--- AMH

the moore family said...

I love your blog. You do a wonderful job expressing your words.