It seems like, lately, I've heard a lot of bad news. Lauren's little girl got really sick in the night, and Lauren had to see her precious baby go stiff and lifeless. Her face turned white, her lips blue, and she wasn't breathing. They had to call 911. Natalie is going to be perfectly fine, but I know Lauren still has that haunting image and feeling of panic and helplessness stuck in her mind. It's stuck in my mind, and I wasn't even there.
Whitney's best friend at work, Meg, had a baby girl yesterday. I have been excited to hear how everything went for Meg and Craig. The delivery went great, but then they found out that there little girl has Downs Syndrome. My heart just hurts for them. The utter surprise, the dread of all the mean people in the world who might hurt your cherished child's feelings, the responsibility of caring for a disabled child...all of these concerns have sat heavy on my chest.
Jeremiah told me about a nurse he works with having a baby at St. Vincents and almost dying because her care was so poor. She started hemorrhaging and it took her doctor 4 hours to make his way to her. She demanded to be immediately transferred to UAB, and she is convinced that UAB doctors saved her life.
Finally, my Dad drove to pick my sister up from AU in the middle of the night last night because she was so sick. She was admitted to the hospital this morning, but they still aren't sure what is wrong with her.
All in all, I have been feeling borderline clinically depressed. However, there are 3 things that are helping me cope. First is the fact that I know God is sovereign. That's a blanket statement Christians like to throw over bad situations, but it is true. We serve the all-powerful God of the universe and He doesn't owe us an explanation for all He allows to happen in this sin-filled world. All we have to know is that there is a reason, and that He hates to see us hurting.
Second, is the way that Whitney's friend Meg has handled her situation. Since Whitney told me what happened, I've been trying to imagine myself dealing with that same hurt...It wasn't a pretty picture. Meg, however, said something that really touched my heart, "Whitney, we are honored that God sees a strength in Craig and I to handle this situation. We don't see it, but He must." She also said that her joy over her new baby, makes the grief look small.
Finally, there are the daffodils that are blooming just outside my back door. I didn't plant them, but every winter after cold and rain have long dominated our days, these friendly little faces open up and sing of the springtime to come. They bring me joy, and remind me that God has to bring some cold and some rain so that eventually we can bloom a little brighter for Him.