We all make sacrifices for those we love. At least, hopefully we do or we're just living a selfish existence. We sacrifice our time when a friend needs to talk. We sacrifice our schedule when a family member needs help. We sacrifice our life when we have a baby...wait, what? Should we be sacrificing our lives for our children? Obviously, I'm not talking about my physical life, because I am typing this blog, but we do sacrifice pieces of who we are in order to be what we need to be to our children. Whether it's something as simple as going to movies or as complex as the things that make us interesting, there seems to be a lot we are asked to give up.
For me, I quit my job. I am no longer a chemical engineer, and when I introduce myself to someone at a party, there is really no need to mention this fact. I no longer have that, "Oh, really?!" response that I had vainly come to appreciate during my introductions to strangers. In some sense, I said good-bye to 16 years of preparation. Then there are those little every-day sacrifices like, not being able to take an un-interrupted shower, or go shopping without flying through a store and grabbing what you need while making funny faces to entertain your baby, or sitting and reading a book without having one eye following that special someone around the room, or going to a party without rushing home because you are worried the babysitter is about to pull her hair out.... All these things are what I consider sacrifices that I've made, in order to be the best mom I know how to be to someone that I love.
Now that I've thrown my pity party, I'd like to tell you that you really shouldn't pity me at all. I thank God, that I get to serve the most amazing little person I've ever met. I thank God that I am not solving boring, complex engineering problems but teaching a mind that is dying to learn. I thank God that I have an excuse to not go to every party because there is someone who needs me at home. And at night, when I lay Pace down for bed, I thank God that I am able to be here, at home with her, knowing that I am giving her my best.
For me, I quit my job. I am no longer a chemical engineer, and when I introduce myself to someone at a party, there is really no need to mention this fact. I no longer have that, "Oh, really?!" response that I had vainly come to appreciate during my introductions to strangers. In some sense, I said good-bye to 16 years of preparation. Then there are those little every-day sacrifices like, not being able to take an un-interrupted shower, or go shopping without flying through a store and grabbing what you need while making funny faces to entertain your baby, or sitting and reading a book without having one eye following that special someone around the room, or going to a party without rushing home because you are worried the babysitter is about to pull her hair out.... All these things are what I consider sacrifices that I've made, in order to be the best mom I know how to be to someone that I love.
Now that I've thrown my pity party, I'd like to tell you that you really shouldn't pity me at all. I thank God, that I get to serve the most amazing little person I've ever met. I thank God that I am not solving boring, complex engineering problems but teaching a mind that is dying to learn. I thank God that I have an excuse to not go to every party because there is someone who needs me at home. And at night, when I lay Pace down for bed, I thank God that I am able to be here, at home with her, knowing that I am giving her my best.
There is also the fact that God seems to bless us so much more when we make the sacrifices He asks of us. Now that I am home, I have taken the time to do this, to write, which is something I never would have taken the time to do when I was working away from home. He has let me experience a new kind of love that I didn't even know existed. He has given me new friendships that have helped me grow as a person, a wife, a mother, and a home-maker. He has even given me a way to exercise and take better care of my body.
Not only is Pace worth the little sacrifices, my life is filled with even more blessings!
3 comments:
Abby,
I must comment and say that I felt a little tiny piece of that love that one night i stayed after Pace's birthday and went to get her calm so you and Jeremiah could watch the movie and came back crying..haha i look back now and realize that i was crying because it was like i was literally holding a piece of heaven that was sent down to this earth to allow you to realize Gods love..God is good and is overflowing with love for His children..:)
Abby,
I think I finally got this thing figured out. Maybe I won't have any more trouble posting a comment. She is so worth the sacrifice! I know you know that. Every time her little picture pops up, it makes me smile. That is a darlin picture with her little sunday shoes on. She looks like she's saying see my shoes? You won't regret a single day you stayed home. My friends with regrets are the ones who worked and sent them to daycare every day. They missed out on so much.
I came across your blog while "Googling" my own name (like a nerd!). So far, I've cried, laughed, experienced dancing goose-bumps down my arms and legs and have been reminded of the blessed life I also lead even if it doesn't always turn out the way I want it to. For all of this I thank you. You are a tribute to your parents amazing child-rearing abilities as you have grown up to be quite an inspiration. Now I sit here, head cocked with a slight smile also thanking you for contributing more of YOU to the human race.
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